Last Night I walked home with a backpack the side of a Labrador attached to my back.
Last Night people thought I was some traveler living out of her rucksack, carrying her whole life on her back.
Last Night I drank a million cups of tea.
Last Night every hour I had to pee.
Last Night I convinced my self to leave the house and go buy honey and lemon because it would help to soothe the horse in my throat.
Last Night after paying for a five dollar bottle of honey, 'made with love', and two for a dollar lemons with a debit card, I walked across the street and saw a punk walking towards me. We barely acknowledged each others presence, we crossed paths with barely a nod.
Last Night I realized how big Manhattan is and how very small my little corner of 9th and 2nd ave really is.
Last Night I realized how sweet it is to sleep next to a dachshund.
Last Night I realized: it's all about being comfortable by yourself.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
All right Universe...
All right Universe... you've got me cornered. Now, what would you like?
+ Panic?
+ Submission?
+ Terror?
+ Dread?
+ Anxiety?
+ Fear?
Well you've got all that. I am scared shitless right now, nervous as hell, and my bones feel like they are being electrocuted and turned into liquid.
Why do you have to dump shit on me all at once? Especially now, when I was doing so well. I was starting to enjoy being alive. I was realizing who is worth my time and who is a pile of useless flesh. I was coming to terms with being a good-for-nothing who was slowly trying to become a good-for-something. I'm only 20. Can't you wait until I am at least 25 to kill me off?
I want to do something. I want to make something. I want to progress and evolve. BUT I CANT DO THESE THINGS IF I AM DEAD.
Help me to control the panic and the pain and I swear I'll start being nicer to people.
I'll let go of the past and try to mend broken bonds. I'll hang out with Joey Tabi for christsakes, as long as this isn't something serious.
Please?
This pain in my head is killing me.
+ Panic?
+ Submission?
+ Terror?
+ Dread?
+ Anxiety?
+ Fear?
Well you've got all that. I am scared shitless right now, nervous as hell, and my bones feel like they are being electrocuted and turned into liquid.
Why do you have to dump shit on me all at once? Especially now, when I was doing so well. I was starting to enjoy being alive. I was realizing who is worth my time and who is a pile of useless flesh. I was coming to terms with being a good-for-nothing who was slowly trying to become a good-for-something. I'm only 20. Can't you wait until I am at least 25 to kill me off?
I want to do something. I want to make something. I want to progress and evolve. BUT I CANT DO THESE THINGS IF I AM DEAD.
Help me to control the panic and the pain and I swear I'll start being nicer to people.
I'll let go of the past and try to mend broken bonds. I'll hang out with Joey Tabi for christsakes, as long as this isn't something serious.
Please?
This pain in my head is killing me.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Gimmie you love
we were naked after sex cuddling, as per usual.
well, i was naked anyway. he had yet again jumped up and put on his ratty jockeys and dirty shirt.
i tickled his side, which i knew drove him nuts. he tickled back in revenge and we rolled around in post coital bliss. then talking and bragging about the amazing orgasms we has both received.
we settle down, and decide to doze off the the Indian music channel my shitty cable sometimes got.
he kisses my forehead and runs his fingers in circles on my shoulder.
i am so calm and peaceful in his arms. i finger the collar of his frayed shirt, and frown. i want his skin to touch my skin. i want to feel the heat from his hairy chest. i want his sweaty bush close to mine like it was only a few moments ago. i frown again. should i dare venture down a path i know has no end?
"why wont you lay naked with me?"
a question i know the answer too.
"i don't like being naked. i dont' like my body."
"i love your body" i place emphasis by stretching out my vowels and running my hands up and down his arms and nestling closer to him.
"i love your body," he grins and pulls me in for a kiss and a caress; but no answer.
i think about it in class.. on the subway.. while i'm sleeping... while i'm awake.. while i eat.. while i speak.. while i look into the eyes of someone else there he stands.
i'm drumming my fingers against my notebook envisioning his arms. long and lean, muscular not from hours at the gym but from beating sticks against skids, throwing himself back and forth in a crowd working up a sweat smell so sweet i'd lay in his dirty laundry for days if i could. i think about his skin. soft and smooth under my hands. it never ends. the largest organ to the human body. i love my largest organ against his. i could spend hours running my finger tips over every inch of the body he hates so much. i wish i could make him see what i see. i wish i could help him feel what i feel.
that burning tingling uncontrollable urge. my nerves stand on end when he comes into view. every synapse snaps and every neuron fires. my pupils dilate. my heart pounds. every stupid feeling a girl could get floods into my system. my thighs turn to jelly. my brain falls out of my ass. my mouth goes dry and my pussy floods. i can't help it. animal magnetism i think they call it.
i pray for days spent mapping his body. nights spent in the shower taking mental snap shots of steaming hot water running down the deep furrowed brow, rolling down his nose sending drops to his lips. lips when pressed to mine create a spark so brilliant bad 80's bands write ballads to its pulse.
in minutes with permission i would bury my face into his armpits and breathe deep that sweet scent of man. i'd push my fingers through that forest of chest hair pushing my nails just deep enough to scratch but not scar. i'd kiss those shoulders freckled and furry for days. i'd hold that ass in my hands and never let go.
something about him. his face. his eyes. his sarcastic remarks that bite to the bone. i am a spineless jellyfish at his feet. a simpering pile of girl parts.
well, i was naked anyway. he had yet again jumped up and put on his ratty jockeys and dirty shirt.
i tickled his side, which i knew drove him nuts. he tickled back in revenge and we rolled around in post coital bliss. then talking and bragging about the amazing orgasms we has both received.
we settle down, and decide to doze off the the Indian music channel my shitty cable sometimes got.
he kisses my forehead and runs his fingers in circles on my shoulder.
i am so calm and peaceful in his arms. i finger the collar of his frayed shirt, and frown. i want his skin to touch my skin. i want to feel the heat from his hairy chest. i want his sweaty bush close to mine like it was only a few moments ago. i frown again. should i dare venture down a path i know has no end?
"why wont you lay naked with me?"
a question i know the answer too.
"i don't like being naked. i dont' like my body."
"i love your body" i place emphasis by stretching out my vowels and running my hands up and down his arms and nestling closer to him.
"i love your body," he grins and pulls me in for a kiss and a caress; but no answer.
i think about it in class.. on the subway.. while i'm sleeping... while i'm awake.. while i eat.. while i speak.. while i look into the eyes of someone else there he stands.
i'm drumming my fingers against my notebook envisioning his arms. long and lean, muscular not from hours at the gym but from beating sticks against skids, throwing himself back and forth in a crowd working up a sweat smell so sweet i'd lay in his dirty laundry for days if i could. i think about his skin. soft and smooth under my hands. it never ends. the largest organ to the human body. i love my largest organ against his. i could spend hours running my finger tips over every inch of the body he hates so much. i wish i could make him see what i see. i wish i could help him feel what i feel.
that burning tingling uncontrollable urge. my nerves stand on end when he comes into view. every synapse snaps and every neuron fires. my pupils dilate. my heart pounds. every stupid feeling a girl could get floods into my system. my thighs turn to jelly. my brain falls out of my ass. my mouth goes dry and my pussy floods. i can't help it. animal magnetism i think they call it.
i pray for days spent mapping his body. nights spent in the shower taking mental snap shots of steaming hot water running down the deep furrowed brow, rolling down his nose sending drops to his lips. lips when pressed to mine create a spark so brilliant bad 80's bands write ballads to its pulse.
in minutes with permission i would bury my face into his armpits and breathe deep that sweet scent of man. i'd push my fingers through that forest of chest hair pushing my nails just deep enough to scratch but not scar. i'd kiss those shoulders freckled and furry for days. i'd hold that ass in my hands and never let go.
something about him. his face. his eyes. his sarcastic remarks that bite to the bone. i am a spineless jellyfish at his feet. a simpering pile of girl parts.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Really guys?
http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org/u/AFY_Will/2010/2/24/In-Utah-Miscarriage--Criminal-Homicide
COME ON UTAH!
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
First you try to cut 12th grade now this?
COME ON UTAH!
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
First you try to cut 12th grade now this?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)